Home Sweet Home

If you were to try and track me down,
probability is you will not find me.
It does not take one to be a spy or an undercover agent to hide tracks.
All you need are different jobs,for not just yourself but your friends too;
They’ll move away when their time comes.
After a while, the owner wants you out
or the rent is too high,you don’t find roommates
or the water problems are too much of an added stress in the shitstorm named adulthood,
then of course there are the places your job will send you to
and it’s the cycle all over again.

So if you want to track me down,
probability is you will not find me.
The local grocer, post boxes, addresses, driving licenses,
not even my phone number is a constant
in any of the databases of the multiple systems 
my information is stored in throughout the world.
For all those who have one,
home sweet home.
Where’s mine?
Well, it’s in ten different houses as of yet -Homes sweet homes.
Well, not homes, just houses.
Houses are but homes without a heart,warmth, welcoming smiles and love.
I should just call mine house sweet house instead.

Happy Fuckin New Year

I am blind.
Literally. Figuratively.
And any other words you can think of that end with 'ly'. 
But my other senses work hand in hand to make sure I am sure of whats in front of me. 
Don't be fooled because I can't see.

Those other senses I mentioned,
work hard to make sure I don't stumble.
So I know by how you smell, by how it feels to touch you,
by how it feels to listen to your voice even if you're just whispering,
by how your lips and your skin taste 
that I am sure of you.

I want to be your every new year's kiss,
I wouldn't have it any other way.
I want to down a bottle with you,
of course of your favorite wine, and shout out songs
into the flickering city night.
I want to wolf whistle every time 
you put on any sort of clothes or take them off,
you're fuckin' beautiful anyway.
I want to take your hand and put it around me
and dance any time there's music anywhere.
I want to spend entire days with you,
nothing but skin and bones ( and the little fat from all our happiness )
touching you and sleeping all tangled in each other.

I want all this and I know I don't even need to see
to be assured.

Yeah, I can't see.
I can be sure all I want, but I can't see.
Literally - no. Figuratively - no.
You can see very well,
Literally - yes. Figuratively - yes.
So are you sure of me?

Digress

I think I can forgive you
any time and every time you break my heart.
Maybe it's who I am, the forgiving kind
or maybe my heart's been broken so many times that it doesn't matter anymore;
I know life will still take it's decided course,
we will be who we were going to be
except on those scant but compulsory days that come loaded with nostalgia;
we will digress from who we were going to be for those days,
for just those days.

Myopia

What am I looking at?

That gentle shiny white disc in the sky surrounded by even gentler dots against a raging black.

Is that supposed to be the moon?

I squint through my disabled eyes.
Nope, can't perceive shit.
I reach out my hand towards the light source and cover it with the tip of my thumb.
The dots are just some fairy lights strung out somewhere far.

Faking

He sat

and sucked out the air

from the girl

and blew it into his sex doll.

He turned on the lights,

neon pink and black

and scratched the girl

while straddling the sex doll.

His eyes rolled back,

he pulled back the girl's hair

with all his strength -

you could hear a little crack as her head tilted back.

But there was no air left in her,

he let out a gasp.

she couldn't move.

he closed her eyes.

she closed her eyes.

Unexpectedly

Do u think about me,

about how I look in the morning?

Do you keep flowers that remind u of me?

Do I make my way into a sudden moment

in your day which has been a habit for years and change it -

like letting that hair strand be over your temple because I like it that way
unlike tucking it back over your ear?

Do the sheets suddenly remind u of how my skin felt on yours?

Do I get to be part of your dreams where you wake up aching in the loins?

I think about you every minute of my life.

Insomnia

The light's still on,
everyone just left and
you left with Dean.
There's a faint whiff
of your perfume
lingering in the house.
I tell myself
I'm alright
but I cant sleep, what does that tell you?

You,
who is not here.
you,
who was never here.
You,
whose skin will never graze mine.

I held your hands once;
it's the most important moment of my entire life.
You were glowing in the lights from the
buildings, streetlamps and neon boards,
your impatience at the never ending green lights
palpable in the air.
The walk sign lit up finally,
we stepped off the curb
hand in hand.
This was the slowest I have crossed any road.
You let go of my hand as soon as we crossed
and ushered me to hurry up so that we did not miss the next train.
How do people fall out of love?