Digress

I think I can forgive you
any time and every time you break my heart.
Maybe it's who I am, the forgiving kind
or maybe my heart's been broken so many times that it doesn't matter anymore;
I know life will still take it's decided course,
we will be who we were going to be
except on those scant but compulsory days that come loaded with nostalgia;
we will digress from who we were going to be for those days,
for just those days.

Myopia

What am I looking at?

That gentle shiny white disc in the sky surrounded by even gentler dots against a raging black.

Is that supposed to be the moon?

I squint through my disabled eyes.
Nope, can't perceive shit.
I reach out my hand towards the light source and cover it with the tip of my thumb.
The dots are just some fairy lights strung out somewhere far.

Faking

He sat

and sucked out the air

from the girl

and blew it into his sex doll.

He turned on the lights,

neon pink and black

and scratched the girl

while straddling the sex doll.

His eyes rolled back,

he pulled back the girl's hair

with all his strength -

you could hear a little crack as her head tilted back.

But there was no air left in her,

he let out a gasp.

she couldn't move.

he closed her eyes.

she closed her eyes.

Unexpectedly

Do u think about me,

about how I look in the morning?

Do you keep flowers that remind u of me?

Do I make my way into a sudden moment

in your day which has been a habit for years and change it -

like letting that hair strand be over your temple because I like it that way
unlike tucking it back over your ear?

Do the sheets suddenly remind u of how my skin felt on yours?

Do I get to be part of your dreams where you wake up aching in the loins?

I think about you every minute of my life.

Insomnia

The light's still on,
everyone just left and
you left with Dean.
There's a faint whiff
of your perfume
lingering in the house.
I tell myself
I'm alright
but I cant sleep, what does that tell you?

You,
who is not here.
you,
who was never here.
You,
whose skin will never graze mine.

I held your hands once;
it's the most important moment of my entire life.
You were glowing in the lights from the
buildings, streetlamps and neon boards,
your impatience at the never ending green lights
palpable in the air.
The walk sign lit up finally,
we stepped off the curb
hand in hand.
This was the slowest I have crossed any road.
You let go of my hand as soon as we crossed
and ushered me to hurry up so that we did not miss the next train.
How do people fall out of love?

Let go

How quickly do you decide
if you want to hang on or let go?
Do you consider every detail to
whatever situation you are in,
do you overthink everything enough
before you let go?
Is it important though?
To overthink it all
just so you have reassurance
that you covered the blind spots too?
Or is it easier to let go of probabilities
and then let go?

Uneven

Shiver,
Stop.
Why do you move away?
I move away too,
I won't justify.
But I want an explanation.
I slide
to one side
and sulk.
Give me your hand, why don't you?
I glare at your neck.
I'm a tempest.
What are you?
You are a shoe
encumbered by high heels
which can't stand up straight
I am your rocky ground
Shiver,
Fall,
Stop.